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Living Together Out of Wedlock

Updated: Aug 9, 2022

I will deal with this sensitive topic as tactfully as possible. However, I need to also be very straightforward because this is a huge problem in America, including your city.

Most of my readers would probably agree that living together outside of wedlock is wrong. However, my readership does not tell the whole story of people's viewpoints. Did you know that, according to the Pew Research center,

"The share of adults who have lived with a romantic partner is now higher than the share who have ever been married"

I know that TV and movies have contributed to the destruction of our sense of right in this area, but deep down, I believe that we still must know that this is wrong. At least the people that I know who have been challenged about this, know that it is not best. Our conscience tells us that it isn’t right.

There used to be a day, not long ago, that most people were taught from childhood that marriage is a sacred covenant between a man and a woman who have agreed to live together for the rest of their lives. A Christian marriage is a Covenant between a man and a woman that also includes God. If you will remember, it was God that brought the first man and woman together to live in holy matrimony. Jesus also honored marriage when He attended the wedding in Cana of Galilee.

So then, why do so many people violate this standard of morality? Here are a few reasons I’ve been told.

  • Cultural – Surprise! Society has changed over the last 50 years. It is more acceptable in the world to live together without marriage. Our conscience doesn’t scream as loud when so many seem to be doing it with no consequences. The general idea is, “Hey, live a little. Loosen up. Don’t be such a prude.” In fact, there are more people now who go against what is right, just to be rebellious. Their motto - “No one is going to tell me what to do!”

  • Financial – Some people live together because they think there is no other way to make financial ends meet.

  • Sexual –By far, this is the largest category of people.

  • Social – Some live together because they want friendship and companionship.

Attached closely to the above ideas, are the reasons why cohabiters don't just get married. These are some of the reasons given in the Pew research study:

These are the excuses men give, but what does God say?

Because most people who live together without marriage simply want the privileges of marriage (including and many times, primarily, sexual fulfillment) without the responsibility of marriage, let’s deal with that first.

One of the words the Bible uses to describe sexual immorality of any kind (fornication, homosexuality, etc.) is “uncleanness.” The Bible says that we are to repent of uncleanness.

2 Corinthians 12:21

And lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and that I shall bewail many which have sinned already, and have not repented of the uncleanness and fornication and lasciviousness which they have committed.

It also states that we are to crucify unholy sexual desires.

Colossians 3:5

Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:

1 Corinthians 6:18–20

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

We are to yield ourselves to righteous living.

Romans 6:19

I speak after the manner of men because of the infirmity of your flesh: for as ye have yielded your members servants to uncleanness and to iniquity unto iniquity; even so now yield your members servants to righteousness unto holiness.

The Bible finally states that we are not to let uncleanness be named among us EVEN ONCE!

Ephesians 5:3

But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;

I also want to remind you that the Apostle Paul is here admonishing the BELIEVERS not to engage in this kind of behavior. God's children need to be leading the way in righteousness in this matter....not participating in the sin!

Perhaps someone says, “But there is no sex. It is a platonic relationship.” This may be true in your case, but the Bible also has something to say to you.

  • Make no provision for the flesh (Romans 13:14). If you put yourself into the environment of temptation, you make it easier for immorality to occur.

Romans 13:14

But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ,

and make not provision for the flesh,

to fulfil the lusts thereof.

  • Flee even the appearance of evil (I Thessalonians 5:22). When people live together without marriage, everyone naturally assumes that there is sexual activity going on.

1 Thessalonians 5:22

Abstain from all appearance of evil.

  • Do nothing to offend your “brother” (Romans 14:21). If you are a Christian, you have a responsibility to your “brother” (or “sister”) to live the kind of life that does not offend, weaken, or lead another into sin by your example. You also have the responsibility of being a testimony to the lost of that which is right.

Romans 14:21

It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine,

nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth,

or is offended, or is made weak.

Try as you may, there is no way to biblically justify living with another person of the opposite sex without marriage. Please remember also that this lifestyle breaks down the basic, stable, structural unit of society (the home). Generally speaking this lifestyle has historically been associated with poverty, drugs, alcohol, promiscuity and disease.

In the Pew Research Study, married people come out ahead on every measured parameter.

So what should we do? Let me put it so everyone will understand.


Do not live with a member of the opposite sex without marriage. Teach your kids (by word and example) that living together (unmarried) is not right. Encourage your friends and family to avoid this pitfall and trap.

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