Living Together Out of Wedlock

Updated: Aug 9

I will deal with this sensitive topic as tactfully as possible. However, I need to also be very straightforward because this is a huge problem in America, including your city.

Most of my readers would probably agree that living together outside of wedlock is wrong. However, my readership does not tell the whole story of people's viewpoints. Did you know that, according to the Pew Research center,

"The share of adults who have lived with a romantic partner is now higher than the share who have ever been married"

I know that TV and movies have contributed to the destruction of our sense of right in this area, but deep down, I believe that we still must know that this is wrong. At least the people that I know who have been challenged about this, know that it is not best. Our conscience tells us that it isn’t right.

There used to be a day, not long ago, that most people were taught from childhood that marriage is a sacred covenant between a man and a woman who have agreed to live together for the rest of their lives. A Christian marriage is a Covenant between a man and a woman that also includes God. If you will remember, it was God that brought the first man and woman together to live in holy matrimony. Jesus also honored marriage when He attended the wedding in Cana of Galilee.

So then, why do so many people violate this standard of morality? Here are a few reasons I’ve been told.

  • Cultural – Surprise! Society has changed over the last 50 years. It is more acceptable in the world to live together without marriage. Our conscience doesn’t scream as loud when so many seem to be doing it with no consequences. The general idea is, “Hey, live a little. Loosen up. Don’t be such a prude.” In fact, there are more people now who go against what is right, just to be rebellious. Their motto - “No one is going to tell me what to do!”

  • Financial – Some people live together because they think there is no other way to make financial ends meet.

  • Sexual –By far, this is the largest category of people.

  • Social – Some live together because they want friendship and companionship.

Attached closely to the above ideas, are the reasons why cohabiters don't just get married. These are some of the reasons given in the Pew research study:

These are the excuses men give, but what does God say?

Because most people who live together without marriage simply want the privileges of marriage (including and many times, primarily, sexual fulfillment) without the responsibility of marriage, let’s deal with that first.

One of the words the Bible uses to describe sexual immorality of any kind (fornication, homosexuality, etc.) is “uncleanness.” The Bible says that we are to repent of uncleanness.

2 Corinthians 12:21

And lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and that I shall bewail many which have sinned already, and have not repented of the uncleanness and fornication and lasciviousness which they have committed.

It also states that we are to crucify unholy sexual desires.

Colossians 3:5

Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:

1 Corinthians 6:18–20

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

We are to yield ourselves to righteous living.

Romans 6:19

I speak after the manner of men because of the infirmity of your flesh: for as ye have yielded your members servants to uncleanness and to iniquity unto iniquity; even so now yield your members servants to righteousness unto holiness.

The Bible finally states that we are not to let uncleanness be named among us EVEN ONCE!